Get abuse support with narcissism, and self esteem. Reduce your stress.

Get abuse support with narcissism, and self esteem. Reduce your stress.

Get abuse support with narcissism, and self esteem. Reduce your stress.Get abuse support with narcissism, and self esteem. Reduce your stress.


success, boundaries, communication, delegation, abuse, negative thoughts, stress, love, narcissists


Look at your personality style. If you're a people person, don't set a goal that causes you to spend most of your time alone, looking at details. It won't work. Work within your personality style. Use it to your advantage. You are different than others. That's a good thing. Don't look at other people's successes unless they are successful in the same area you want to succeed in. Unless you can use their plan as a guide, you need to look for your particular style. Look at your values, needs, strengths and weaknesses.  

Question yourself. Ask yourself how you feel about each area of your life. Do you want more or less of it? Do you want to spend more time with the people in your life or less? Is abuse wearing you out or are the people around you supportive and caring? What about each day do you like and not like?   Example: If you like to go to bed late and get up late, don't confine yourself to a 7 to 4 job. If you really hate driving in traffic, don't put yourself 25 miles away from home. 

The clearer the picture, the faster and more complete the success. When considering a life goal, it's not as easy as a goal for next year. Once you've considered who you are and a general idea of what you want, refine the image. Make the picture so clear that you can explain it to someone in just a few words. Write it down. Try it on and see how it feels. Notice if you feel passionate about it. Without passion, it will die. Discuss your goal with your close friends. Ask them for input. 

Understand why you want this goal. If your goal is money, what would you do with the money or why do you want it. Is it for more control over your life, for security or to get away from an abuse? Looking at the reason behind your goal gives you choices about how to reach it. If your goal is to help others, you may be able to volunteer or work for Habitat for Humanity. There are many ways to reach your goal when you understand what it really is. Now you're closer to developing a goal that is attainable for you. It must be SMART, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed.

"Winners have the ability to step back from the canvas of their lives like an artist gaining perspective. They make their lives a work of art  -  an individual masterpiece." -- Denis Waitley

When something goes differently than you expected, look at it and decide how you want to do things differently next time. When things go even better than you expected, look at why they went well. Did you plan well in advance or consider something you hadn't considered before? There is nothing right or wrong in failing or in succeeding. When you fail, consider it a learning tool. When you succeed, consider it a learning tool. Take comfort in the encouragement that something is really going well for you, but don't stop there. As you analyze your successes and failures, you can add that information into your plan. That means more successes and fewer failures.

Your plan is the road map to making your goal a success. Set a realistic deadline. Then figure out what you need to do, who you need to see and how you need to work the plan. It's a business plan for your life. Write it down. Make it so clear that you know what you will do each day. When you get up in the morning, you will know how far forward you will have moved by the end of the day. If you have a busy life and can't spend all your time on your goal, do at least one thing that moves you forward. Don't give up. Adjust your plan as needed. See goal setting example.

Nothing is accomplished without risk. Remember, failure is just a learning tool. Don't reinvent the wheel. If someone has done something you can use, use it. If not, figure something out. If it doesn't work, try again. 


The one thing that usually sidetracks a person is forgetting the goal. Move purposely in the direction you have chosen and don't let interesting, but unimportant things slow you down. If you really want  success, you have to work at it. Success doesn't knock on your door and say, "Here I am." It takes time, energy and commitment to be successful.

"If you know the point of balance, you can settle the details.
If you can settle the details, you can stop running around.
Your mind will become calm. If your mind becomes calm,
you can think in front of a tiger. If you can think in front of a tiger,
you will surely succeed." -- Mencius (Mengzi Meng-Tse)


Like I said, it's a simple formula, but not an easy one. Successful people have followed the same formula. So can you. 

It's your LIFE! Appreciate it! Enjoy it!

© Copyright LifeSkills International 2003 by Betty Eddy. Duplication with attribution permitted and encouraged.

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